BABYSITTING sounds so easy – 16-year-olds get paid to do it – but when someone trusts you with their child it is both an honour and a terrifying test which you dare not fail.
When I began dating my wife, Ashley, a little over five years ago I instantly inherited 11 nieces and nephews with her sister adding one more adorable and insane little boy to the brood three years ago. We both love kids and rarely say no when we are asked to look after the little ones for a couple of hours, overnight or for the weekend.
That said, each time we have the kids over I feel an overwhelming need to fulfil the role of the ‘cool auntie’ while not compromising the rules and regulations that their parents set – and this is quite the challenge. While they expect treats, games and fun when they visit us they still know there are rules that must be followed, but they are children, and children push the boundaries. So as someone who is in charge of kids, yet not raising them, just how much can you push back, scold or reward children for how they act when they are with you?
Recently while we had three of the girls, aged eight, 11 and 12, overnight I had a complete meltdown when I heard the older two talking about a boy. They were huddled around a mobile phone, giggling like school children (quite literally) and asking, “Which one is he? Do you like him?” Instantly a million scenarios, most of them featuring me explaining to their mothers how their kids were groomed by some mobile phone predator, ran through my head. Trying to be aloof and nonchalant – as if they would even recognise what that was – I turned into a 13-year-old version of myself: “Yo girls, what’s up? Who is on the phone, what exactly is it that you’re looking at there, huh,” my rising tone belying my cool exterior. They blushed and squealed before revealing pictures of Hometown – Ireland’s hottest new boyband – and picking out their favourites.
Relieved that they weren’t contacting real life boys, I instantly considered that parents must be paranoid, scared and downright frantic every minute of every day – yet all of the parents that I know take these things so readily in their stride. “It’s different when they are your own,” – one of the regular and frequent things we hear from friends and family yet when we look after the kids we tell them off if they’re misbehaving, watch their painstakingly put-together dance routines and listen intently to their One Direction love poems – very much like parents do, but we are not parents.
This tiny fact seems huge when you are watching someone else’s children, when it is your responsibility to make sure they don’t fall off a swing, steal a bar of chocolate or get lost in a playground. Parents trust other parents to make decisions because they have been there and done that, they have the experience to know when to panic and when to be calm. While I may be lacking those particular parental learned life skills, I like to think I am more than capable of adapting.
Although there is no solid evidence for or against the theory, I believe the constant waiting list for a sleepover in our spare room – and the fact that we always return the small people in one piece – is a definite tick in the win column.
Lynda O’Donoghue Donnelly lives in Tallaght with her wife, Ashley. A journalist by day and overthinker by night, she is prone to writing long into the wee hours without any supervision. When not putting the world to rights on paper, Lynda is a highly skilled amateur Astro footballer and two-time GAA player of the year. Her ringtone is ‘Basketcase’ by Green Day.
Catch up with more from Lynda on her blog, mixedtapemetaphors.wordpress.com.
