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Parenting

09th Jul 2015

10 Totally Bizarre Baby Gadgets That Actually Exist

Currently The Child is in the cot stage. Or as we refer to it, the cage stage.

Often at night we lie there listening to him sing-shouting and rattling his bottle on the cage bars and ponder what will happen when he can get out? Obviously this day is coming and I sense a return to co-sleeping is probably inevitable. With the Child nearing capable-of-escape age, this lead me down a dark train of thought one night; would it be frowned upon to put a lid on the cot…? My rational, loving maternal side (it’s in there somewhere) immediately responded “YES, yes it would be frowned upon and for good reason.” In my defence, a quick scout of the Internet (and I would like to categorically state here that I was not trying to procure a lid for the cot) showed that the thought had already occurred to someone else first. Though they clearly were trying to position the product as a baby protector rather than container.

Behold 10 Baby Gadgets We Definitely Don’t Need:

1. “Keeps the baby in and the pets out.”

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2. “Stop them from licking their stitches…”

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3. “The Daddle: In case dads get to thinking that they’re good for anything else.”

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4. “The Pee-pee Tee-pee, because piss in your eye is no joke.”

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5. Educational games made learning fun (ish), now Extreme Chores makes housework fun (ish).

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6. Anyone else think it would be more useful if this baby haz suit came in adult sizes to protect us when feeding them?

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7. Baby butt fan… because we’re all fans of our baby’s bums?

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8. “This heated baby-pillow shaped like a giant hand is the perfect substitute for a mother’s loving embrace.” – Said no baby ever.

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9. Behold the Booble – like a bottle only shaped like boobs and worn by a besuited man.

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10. Hands up if you already own one of these??? Yep, totally do.

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