House chores are the second most common thing (topped only by money!) that couples fight about.
And there is a good reason for that, it seems. Because despite the fact that both men and women admit to liking a clean house and wanting to spend more time with the kids than we are already doing, women still do demonstrably more of domestic work than men – and this is despite our social and political gains in the last few decades.
But here is a twist, guys, which can to an extent explain all the bickering about crumbs and unfolded laundry taking place in homes across the globe.
Men, it seems – despite doing less work than their female partners around the house – feel quite confident that they’re in equal relationships. Basically, they have convinced themselves that they are doing as much housework as we are. d
According to new research by the Pew Research Center, there’s a significant gender gap in how mothers and fathers describe their household’s distribution of labour. Essentially, the study found that whether or not a woman works outside of the home, and no matter how many hours she works, mothers report doing more household labour than their husbands. Who’s surprised? (Not us.)
Fathers, however, bless their delusional cotton socks, are about 10% more likely to say that their domestic chores are shared equally in the relationship.
Now, this is quite serious, we think. Because how do you get them to understand that they are indeed not pulling their weight around the house?
The problem it seems, according to the researchers at Pew, may lay in the fact that women are much more likely to do mental labour. As in; in the majority of families, it is mum who is in charge of (and indeed plans out entirely) the children’s schedules and activities. And while it is easy to keep tabs on who hoovered last or who took the bins out more often than the other last week, it’s not quite as easy keeping a running tally on all the logistical stuff and time-table organising going on.
Given this disparity, it’s not so shocking that while only 20% of fathers said family chores make it difficult for them to advance their careers, more than double the percentage of women said the same thing. And in fairness; you don’t have to tell us how it is more difficult to be strategic about a promotion or a work project when you have five million other things on your mind.
So boys, the next time you make toast and notice that the butter is almost gone, how about taking a note of it? Those shopping lists don’t write themselves, you know…
How do YOU split the work in your house? Join in the conversation with us on Twitter at @Herfamilydotie
