I’m not sure I have a ‘parenting style’ so much as I have a personal style.
That style changes and evolves with every passing day and adapts to new situations constantly.
With my kids, I am always on the lookout for the best way to handle different situations and challenges that present themselves, turning to friends and handbooks I trust for answers.
While I am happy that my children enjoy their individual space and freedoms to have happy childhoods with room for learning, development and – most importantly, fun – I do have certain boundaries for them.
If pressed, I would say my parenting ‘style’ would be: trying my best not to raise a pair of assholes.
I want them to have manners, I want them to be nice, I want them to have lots of friends and sing and dance and be.. kids.
But I will 100% put my foot down and bring out the ‘Mean Mammy Hat’ if I need to.
I would say we are 80% good times and 20% strict in our house, and that probably makes sense for parents with just a 5 and a 2 year old.
It’s not like they’ve started drinking and running away from home just yet.
A new study conducted by Canadian psychologist Victoria Talwar has shown that children attending a school with a very strict policy about lying were very quick to lie in contrast to those who came from a more relaxed school environment.
Psychotherapist Philippa Perry is part of a new Radio 4 programme called ‘Children Who Lie’ and says that parenting style can have a big impact on children who regularly fib.
“We do our kids no favours at all when we persecute them for lying. We can be curious about the lie we can be interested in it and look at our part in it. But being draconian and rigid about it is not going to make a situation better.”
I find that I really agree with this. If I as a parent create a fear around telling the truth with my kids, then why wouldn’t they lie to me?
What we need to do is create a safe environment in which our kids feel they can talk to us and tell us the truth no matter what, because the consequences will be fair, but not frightening in any way.
Don’t you agree?
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