I’ve worked in retail. I know how crappy customers can be and how stressful it is to do the till for three hours straight.
And I’m not saying that all sales assistants are bad. I’ve gushed about some customer service experiences that I’ve had and there are certain places that I will go to because I know the staff are friendly.
But there are also some places I will avoid because I feel like the staff don’t want to help me and don’t want my hard-earned money.
So here we go, the 10 salespeople that make me never want to shop again. (By the way, this is honour of the fact that it was National Salesperson Day somewhere in the world on Friday.)
The one who just wants the sale
I have eyes and there is a mirror in the changing room so I can see that this particular dress makes me look like an actual tent that five of my friends could sleep in. Why would you say that I look fabulous and should take it in two different colours?
The rude one
We all have bad days but if I constantly rolled my eyes and had a crap attitude every time that I wanted to spend the day in bed eating chocolate, I would get NOTHING done.
The one that can see me looking confused but doesn’t ask if I need help
She can see me. In fact, I’ve caught her looking at me and I know I look confused because I’m holding two products and have such a furrowed brow that my head is starting to hurt. Does she ask if I need help? No. Instead, she looks again before walking off to do something else.
The sigher
At least save it until I’m out of earshot. I’m already wearing perfume so no, I don’t want it sprayed in my face and no, I don’t want to buy a gift set because I actually just came in to get some paracetamol.
The one that doesn’t listen to what I’m saying
So I explained that I was looking for a blue dress. Not three red ones that make me look like a six-person tent. And I don’t need shoes? Did I say that I needed shoes? Maybe I should take the red dress and some shoes just so I can leave.
The shouty one
To be fair, this one is trying to help but I don’t exactly want the entire world to know that I’m a 32B and want the thong option. It’s called underwear for a reason.
The one that’s too busy talking to their colleague to take my money
I’ve been standing at the till for 10 minutes and have the cash in my hand as well as a carrier bag but he doesn’t want my money, he simply wants to find out what his colleague is doing tonight. I also want to know what his colleague is doing tonight because it must be bloody important considering how long I’ve been standing here!
The one who looks down on me
If I wanted to be judged, I’d have gone to court. You have no idea what my circumstances are and you’ll never know because I’ll be out the door in 2 seconds.
The one that’s too familiar
Em, yes, that IS my butt. My butt. No need to touch it. Yes I do go to the gym but seriously, it’s my butt. You have one of your own. You can talk about IT as much you want.
The one that’s too good at their job
This one is the worst because they’re the one that keeps me coming back and spending all my money. Actually, these ones are the best. They’re the ones who don’t push, are helpful and always have a smile on their face. They’re the ones that make me forget about all the others.
