Mum sparks debate after asking if it’s okay to leave 8-year-old home alone

Parents were divided by her question.

A mum has kicked off a debate online after asking if it would be okay for her to leave her eight-year-old daughter home alone.

The Mumsnet user turned to the forum to ask other parents if it was unreasonable to leave the young girl by herself for “15/20 minutes at the most”.

She explained:

“A bit of background. I take both DDs [dear daughters] in the car when it’s time for DD2 (5) to go to Rainbows.

“DD1 has said a few times that she’d like to stay at home whilst I take DD2 in the car.

“WIBU to leave her at home? I’m out of the house for 15/20 minutes at the most.

“I haven’t done it yet, but I’m wondering if she’s old enough to be left at home alone if she hasn’t finished her tea or is watching a TV programme that she doesn’t want to miss?

“I suppose it’s more of a WWYD, for those of you who have a child of a similar age?”

Her query sparked a fierce debate on the parenting forum, with there being a distinct split of opinions when it came to answering.

Some parents said they thought there wasn’t an issue, and that doing so would help her daughter “build” independence.

One commenter said:

“I started leaving my DD for short times like that this year, once she’d turned 9 which was about half way through year 4.

“It’s all part of building her independence, preparing her for when she starts secondary school.

“Our mobile numbers are written where she can see them, she knows to go to a neighbours if she’s worried, not to answer the door or the phone.

“The first time I went out, she rang me 3 times in 20 minutes to check where I was but now she barely glances up from the TV!”

Another added:

“Yes, I would, even for an ‘average’ child of no particular wise-beyond-years maturity.

“If you let anxiety about what will happen if this is the specific 20 minutes your neighbor’s flat burns control your life and theirs, they’ll grow up afraid of their own shadows.

“Teach your child basic risk assessment, make sure they won’t open the door to strangers (can help to have a fake “stranger” you know well, like a coworker, come over while you watch from the street to see if the child passes the test!), and knows basic fire safety precautions and has a way to contact you. Done.”

Others said they felt the girl was too young to be left alone while her mum was driving distance away.

A Mumsnet user wrote:

“Eight I think is a bit young if you are a car drive away.

“If you are walking to neighbours or corner shop no roads for 15 min its fine (She can come and get you) but not a drive away – think my DD was 10 before I did a drive trip with her home alone.”

Meanwhile others felt it was inexcusable to leave the child at all.

One said:

“No way. At eight years old you tab along. Non-negotiable here I’m afraid.”

Another commented:

“I wouldn’t leave an eight- year-old. Definitely wouldn’t leave her eating her tea either, but then I have a ridiculous fear of my child choking so that may be why.”

The original mum was quick to clarify that she hasn’t done it yet, but simply wanted to know what other people thought.

She said:

“Thanks for all your answers.

“I do feel that eight years old is too young and I haven’t done it yet.

“It will certainly make my life easier when I can though!”