Seeing a man in labour can naturally be a little confusing to the hospital staff there to assist with the delivery.
Which is why when 33-year-old Rafi Daugherty went to the hospital to give birth to his first child, he posted a note on the delivery room door explaining his situation:
“I am a single transgender man having my first baby,” it read. “I use he/him/his pronouns and will be called ‘Abba’ (Hebrew for father) by the baby. Papa, Dad, Daddy, Father … are also ok.”
Rafi explains to JTA.org how he just wanted to prepare the staff for what they were about to see, as well as telling then that just because he was having a baby, it did not mean he identified as a female.
Growing up an orthodox Jew, Rafi explains how he used to pray to God to turn him into a boy when he was little, but that he also always dreamed of one day being able to have a baby. In 2007 the St. Louis native was living in New York when he finally decided to come out as a male, and had a renaming ceremony, becoming Rachamim Refael “Rafi” Yehoshua Ben Zechariah Leib, at a synagogue in Manhattan.
After starting to take testosterone, Rafi’s voice became lower and hair sprouted on his chin. He then underwent chest reconstruction surgery, but opted against other procedures, such as a hysterectomy.
“I was created with a body that could create life, and I didn’t want to damage that ability,” he said.
And give life he did.
After eight hours of labor, little Ettie Rose, named, in the Jewish tradition, for Rafi’s maternal grandmother and great-grandmother, was born.
And while Rafi due to his chest reconstruction is unable to breastfeed, he is relying on donor breast milk to feed his little girl.
As for baby gifts, the proud new papa admits to having received a lot of seahorses.
(If you are wondering why the ocean creature is proving such a popular gift, you might not be aware that male seahorses carry and birth their offspring.)
(Feature image via Kathryn Mathis/JTA.org)
