When we strip away the materialistic elements of our lives – the ‘stuff’ we think we need, the ‘things’ we have to have, the ‘image’ we want the world to have of us – at the end of the day, the one thing that matters the most is family and the love that it brings.
I chat to other parents all the time and hear about all the great things about family life that they can enjoy as well as learning about the challenges.
One thing that strikes me more and more every day is that our little country of Ireland does not seem equipped to support the family structure in the way that we would expect it to.
I would even go so far to say as it often seems as though The Family is lacking in respect and attention, especially when you compare it to other countries such as Norway.
Here are 10 things that we could do with improving for the sake of family happiness:
1. The Attitude
In Asian countries, the elderly and the very young are revered. In Ireland, neither seem to get any love. “I hate kids!” is something that I am really sick of hearing and the attitude that the elderly are a burden is a disgrace. We could all do with learning a lot from both demographics.
2. Maternity Support
When oh when will the people ‘in charge’ of guiding our women through pregnancy and childbirth start being relatable? There is nothing so off-putting than someone who dismisses your queries and concerns with a wave of the hand and a ‘we didn’t think about that in our day’.
3. Maternity Hospitals
The list of birth stories from maternity hospitals in Ireland that sound like something out of American Horror Story: The Asylum are as long as my arm. Why, in 2016, can’t we give birth to our babies and physically recover in dignity? How are we still subjected to sub-standard hospital buildings and too-busy staff to work them?
4. The Health Service
Where do I begin? Parents with sick children are lost and forgotten about in Ireland, and they certainly aren’t being heard. We only need to look to the St. James’ site in Dublin that has been chosen for the new Children’s Hospital. A very vocal majority of parents don’t seem to want it (for very valid, well-researched reasons) and still, still are being told it’s going ahead. Why aren’t they being heard?
5. Public Transport
In other European countries, there are designated train carriages with extra space for parents with kids or for mums who want to feed their children. In Ireland, we get trains that pull in a foot away from the platform so that parents can’t even get their buggy on board and buses that only allow one buggy on per vehicle. Not great.
6. Mental Health Support
There is a general air of distaste around the subject of pre-natal or ante-natal care. Despite the fact that it is very real and effects a huge percentage of our population, no major efforts have been made to place an emphasis on how crucial it is to support a woman’s mental health in the months after she has a baby. We abandon them and let them suffer alone and then act surprised when they finally fall apart and tell us they aren’t coping.
7. Parental Leave
I know that we are further along than ever in terms of parental leave from work after having a baby. We women get six months and as of September 1st this year, our partners get two weeks to spend time together as a family. But then what? We have to finish breast-feeding before we head back to the office because the majority of workplaces don’t, you know, let you bring your baby to work with you.
8. The Breastfeeding Debate
Can we all just take a moment from our telling everyone what they should do with regards to feeding their babies and just take a moment to absorb this information: there are no advertisements for formula products in Norway because there is no market for them and at the same time, they also afford new mums a full year off from work to get to grips with feeding their babies instead of rushing them back to work.
Do I think those two things are related? Of course I do! And I say that as someone who didn’t breastfeed for very long. There is something amiss with the information we are giving our mothers-to-be and the support that we afford them in this particular area.
9. The School System
There is a huge societal shift in our country right now, one that doesn’t support the control that the Catholic Church is still trying to exert over certain areas of our lives. Our schools is one of those areas. When will our State and government get to grips with the fact that modern families are happy to have our children educated without a specific religion attached?
10. The Breakdown Of The Family Unit
It all comes full circle in the end. If you break up the importance of family and isolate young parents in their parenting journey, we will ultimately have a smaller support system than ever before. Our kids won’t know their cousins or aunts or any of their extended family in the way that they used to. That sense of belonging, of importance and of feeling like they have a place in the world is being lost, and that is a shame for our future generations of children.
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