It can be difficult.
While we love our parents and are delighted when they can help out, having them around 24/7 can be irritating. This new mum’s mother wants to see her every weekday and she’s getting a bit annoyed by it.
She wrote on Mumsnet that she’s “getting a bit much” and doesn’t know what to do about it.
“After I had DC I was grateful for her visiting every day because I was struggling with PND and physically incapacitated after my c-section. But I don’t need that help any more. She’s angry and saying I only want her when I need help.”
She continued to write that she comes along to playgroups with her and it can be a bit awkward as nobody else had a granny tagging along.
“Today I told her I’m out on Friday afternoon because my friend has asked to take our DC to the soft play together. DM said I’ll come? I said no, I’m going out with my friend – you’re welcome to pop in for a cuppa in the morning but in the afternoon I’m going out. So DM has taken the huff.
“Am I ungrateful? It’s not that I only want her when I need help. She’s welcome to pop in regularly and I’m happy to take her out with me a couple of times a week. I just don’t want her with me all day every day.”
Many replied to the post, offering advice. One said:
“After being so helpful when you needed it, she now feels entitled to live through you. You’ll just have to be firm and make plans a few days a week and say a firm “no” when she wants to join you.
“Taking her out a couple of times a week is more than enough. Encourage her to find interests of her own – clubs, meet ups, hobby groups etc.”
While another wrote:
“Well done for saying no this time. You need to do that more. Are you able to reason with her? Tell her you want to be more independent/make new friends.
“You could draw a line under it by taking her a card and flowers saying how much you appreciate her helping you when you needed it.”
