What do you think of this?
Mums and dads have been sharing why they aren’t doing Santa for their kids after one mum asked for advice since she didn’t like “lying” to her son.
The Mumsnet user said that her son is 18 months old, and she and her partner had decided not tell him about Santa – but still get him presents.
Explaining how she didn’t like the idea of “lying” to her son, she said:
“My DS [dear son] is 18 months, I don’t like the idea of lying to him so was thinking of not doing santa. We would still get him presents but they’d all be from us.
“However, I’m wondering how we could play this with what we tell him, and how we explain it without:
“1) making him think he’s missing out and for some reason Santa is visiting other children and not him
“2) alienating other mums at school etc. if he tells their children something which makes them realise the truth.”
Parents who have decided to do Father Christmas for their kids first began to voice their uncertainty over the mum’s holiday plans.
One person said:
“My husband and I had a significant row about this when expecting dd1. My parents had done Santa and stockings. His hadn’t.
“He tried they I don’t want to lie like. I told him to get a grip unless he wanted a divorce. Twenty years later he gets it.”
Someone else commented:
“I feel sorry for your child. You will suck all the joy of fantasy and imagination out of his life. It’s not lying, it’s make believe.”
Another person wrote:
“I think it’s such a shame to deny a child the magical feeling of a ‘visit from Father Christmas’.
“My fondest childhood memories are of Christmas Eve, leaving carrots, mince pies etc and the pure excitement of going to bed. I can honestly say I never felt lied to.
“I would be more disappointed now as an adult if my parents hadn’t gone along with the Father Christmas charade. But as I said before each to their own.”
One of her fellow Mumsnet users said:
“I think you’re looking at it all wrong. Do you not believe in white lies? Santa is a beautiful lie if you must look at it like that. The excitement and joy it can bring as well as teaching the gift of giving.”
But there were plenty of parents who weren’t doing Santa that defended the mum’s decision.
One mum said:
“We won’t be doing Father Christmas for our two-year-old daughter.
“If it comes up I’ll just say it’s a story. I really don’t think feeling ‘excluded’ will be an issue – they’ll still get all the many other nice things about Christmas.”
Meanwhile, a different forum user said they skipped St Nick because it scared her son.
She added:
“We didn’t do Father Christmas with our oldest as it freaked him out, and he hated the idea of it.
“We just said to people that we don’t do it and mum and dad do stockings. We always said that Father Christmas comes to other children though, if they’d like him to, so not spoiling anyone else’s magic.
“It was never a big deal. Once I explained to people they were very supportive.
Whatever you choose to do, if you choose to explain it to to others, you must do very confidently with a big smile.”
