It shouldn’t still be controversial, but it is.
Today a breastfeeding mum shared a powerful post on Instagram about how her own parents shamed her while she fed her baby during dinner in a restaurant.
Kelly Stanley, a first-time mum, said despite having fed her daughter before they all went for the meal, the baby started crying, so she began feeding at the dinner table.
Her father threw a restaurant napkin at her and told her to be considerate of the other diners.
Highly offended that her father put the other diners feelings ahead of her own child’s, Kelly took to her Instagram page to vent her frustration.
Breastfeeding is a normal and natural thing, and if someone has a problem with me feeding my child whenever and wherever, that is THEIR problem. It should NEVER be the breastfeeding mom’s problem.
She went on to say;
They (her parents) continued to say that I needed to be considerate of those who might be offended (men who sexualize breastfeeding), and I’m over here thinking it’s the men who should be considerate and not sexualize breastfeeding.
We need to stop making excuses for men and start expecting them to act like mature human beings who are capable of being in control of themselves.
Here is Kelly’s post in full:
Legislation here in Ireland protects a mother’s right to feed their baby in public in whatever way they choose. But that doesn’t always stop people from being outraged when it comes to covering up when women are nursing out and about.
So should women ensure they use a discreet ‘hooter-hider’ or should they dare to bare in the name of nurture?
Last years Growing up in Ireland study found that 56 per cent of Irish mothers breastfed their child at some stage. That’s compared to 90 per cent which is the European average. So if breastfeeding is still considered as a relatively novel concept here and people continue to gawk or give out, we still have an awful lot of work to do.
Personally, I used a light throw when I fed two out of three of my children. I am not a particularly shy person, but I felt more private when I had a shawl draped over my chest. This was more about fear of exposure than fear of offending. I think there is a huge degree of under-confidence when you become a mum. I didn’t really like feeding amongst large crowds full stop whether it was bottle or breast. It was the feeding I was more self-conscious of with my windy, awkwardly angled, reflux baby rather than the method I used. I had a friend who didn’t like using a cover at all. Luckily she never got any negative feedback.
But not all views are as moderate.
US blogger, Jennie, received a great deal of backlash when she wrote a piece entitled ‘Dear Breastfeeding Moms, Is It Really That Hard To Cover Up?’ The post on www.shejustglows.com received a number of angry comments when she posted last year;
I’ve nursed my kids in the middle of the fanciest restaurants, at the beach, at the doctor’s office, in the library, the airport, the grocery store, in millions (okay, dozens) of parking lots. One time, I even sat down on a tiny patch of grass to feed my baby on the side of the road.
But, I still managed to get a blanket, or at least part of my shirt, to cover my naked nipple while my kids ate.
She went on to say;
The truth is, I don’t want to see your naked boobs. I don’t want my husband to, and come to think of it, my preschool son either.
That doesn’t mean I’m sexualizing breastfeeding. It means that a naked boob, to most people in our culture, is a sexual thing. (Sorry. It’s true. Whether there’s a kid attached to it or not.) And, at least in my opinion, no amount of kids eating on a naked boob is going to change the fact that the breast is still considered a ‘naked part’ in our society.
Yes, your breasts are beautiful. Yes, they are feeding children. Yes, they are natural.
But you know what?
Your vagina helped make the kid, and I don’t see you flashing that around.
The divisive piece drew many comments with one woman saying that they simply wanted to feed their baby rather than draw attention.
We ALL know that women should not be scrutinised for feeding their baby in public, often out of necessity rather than choice.
This shouldn’t even be a debate. Those who are uncomfortable always have the option to simply look away.
You can find more information here on Ireland’s breastfeeding guidelines and why not check out our top 10 Quirky Breastfeeding Facts
