Are you a drone, helicopter or lighthouse parent? To be honest, I am a Keep Them Alive kind of parent and people who want to pop MY method into a category please feel free.
Let me tell you what it is, before we have a rant about being judged on parenting.
A lighthouse stays in one location and will always be there. It’s a beacon in tough times and keeps communication open with the ships (your kids) as they pass. A lighthouse parent warns of danger and provides wise guidance, but it won’t chase down the kid-ships. It lets them navigate the choppy waves themselves but always keep a watchful eye.
That IS quite nice, and it sure beats being a helicopter parent; which basically means you hover over your children in a very suffocating manner. This can prevent children learning about life, and all it’s problems, themselves.
Lighthouse parenting was the brainchild of Dr Kenneth Ginsburg. He is a well-known physician of adolescent medicine and author in the US and experts now think this is the best kind of parenting you can give your child. He suggests parents should be a beacon of steady light visible from the shoreline. Parenting comes with all sorts of responsibilities; you need to set rules but not be overly strict. You want your child to be independence but not to feel abandoned. You love them unconditionally but walk the fine line between smothering and overwhelming them. You need your child to be the best person they can be without burdening them with your own high standards.
In a nut-shell, it is seriously hard work. We don’t do each other any favours by trying to squish the way we try to survive parenthood into neat little boxes. Sometimes I am a tiger mum; a pushy parent who demands their child is successful. This is usually during gymnastics class where I want my daughter to be able to backflip her way through life just like I NEVER did (projection much?)
I helicopter the hell out of my son most of the time as he is always one step away from a serious concussion.
I would LOVE to imagine I could be a lighthouse parent but I am too nosey, too much of a control-freak and too bossy. There are also holistic parenting types, conscious parenting types, and authoritarian parenting. It is exhausting even thinking about. I’ve decided I will be a mix of all of them; a hybrid flying mum that can also land on water, and has lights. What is that parenting method called?
I’m off to hover over the coffee machine and be a beacon for that muffin I spotted earlier.
