Is there anything better than heading away en famille? The freedom, the excitement, the counting down of ‘sleeps,’ the purchasing of cute little beach clothes, sun hats, and teeny bikinis that look doll-like (for them, not me). The anticipation is delicious. Every single minute (except maybe the packing part, that part, I hate).
Then comes the actual holiday. Hurray. Which is great: the apartment, tick; the pool, tick; the beach, tick. All fabulous and worth the squirreling away of your hard-earned cash. But, after all the longing, all the waiting, you’re kind of slapped in the face with a dose of reality from the minute you arrive. There’s supermarket shops, laundry to wash, swimsuits to hang on the line, beach snacks to be made, toast to be cut in the right sizes (triangles for one child; squares for the other), and about 25 arguments a day to mediate. It’s like a home-from-home in no time, but in the sun, with zero rest, and a couple of litres of Sangria thrown in daily.
But we had a ball, spending time together as a family for two glorious weeks is just the best. It gave me clarity on so many things my stressed-out mind couldn’t see before I left, some valuable life lessons I learned:
1. Stop with the body fear
Portuguese women are so confident; I thought to myself on the beach each day. No matter what shape or size, they walked the beach, jumped around in the sand, and played with their kids in teeny tiny swimwear. So (seemingly) confident, so self-assured. I didn’t see anyone body-scanning, picking at their bikini bottoms to cover their bellies (like me every 20 minutes). It made me so aware of my own shortcomings, my body dysmorphia – I was away with my family, that was all that mattered, surrounding by people I didn’t know, and all I could do was give myself a hard time for not being thin enough, toned-enough. What a waste of energy.
2. Be present and enjoy each day as best you can
While it takes a child’s curious, excitable mind, devoid of responsibilities to do this, it really made me realise that I live my life in the future. Working full-time makes you long for the weekend, the next break, the next time you have time, the next time you can grab some me-time, some family time, some time with just the kids, or some time when you don’t feel so frazzled. Ugh, it’s exhausting. Being away from it all makes you appreciate the here and now, not caring what you are going to do next, just enjoying the time in the present. So good for the soul.
3. All they need is you
We’re extremely guilty of bringing every screen we could lay our hands on to our holiday home. Including the Apple TV. Because, like most parents, we tried to cram in some me-time, family-time, and relationship-time – so much to squeeze in, so much to get what we felt we deserved from the trip. The result? Some me-time, but a lot of breaking up arguments when they couldn’t agree on what to watch, and then dealing with meltdowns from too much screen-time. Next time, simplicity. No screens, just family hanging-out time, it might mean no book-reading, but really, all they want is you to hang with, they want your undivided attention, and after all, that’s what you are there for.
4. That you can’t drink every night on a family holiday and get away with it
You might have a blast (we really did), but you come home and return to work almost as tired as when you left. With more brain fog. Fact.
5. Bribery is the root of all parenting evil
It works on holiday. Oh, boy does it work. 347 ice-creams later and so many mouth-wateringly peaceful moments. Then you get home. Not only are you €347 down in just ice-cream funds (not accurate; was probably more), but you have successfully changed them into little dictators who won’t do anything or go anywhere without expecting a treat. BIG mistake. HUGE regrets.
6. I hate suncream as much as my kids
Applying it, that is. Okay, so I know this isn’t exactly a hugely valuable and life-changing life lesson, but I dreaded every single application. As did our next door neighbours, I am sure, as they listened to what must have sounded like daily torture for our children as they cried, screamed and stamped their feet at each application. Next time, a winter getaway!
7. What really matters
Your family. It really takes taking time out of your busy daily lives to realise that your happiness and your family’s happiness is all that matters. Such a cliché, but I looked with awe at how much they had grown-up while we were away. Had they looked so tall before we left? Had I not noticed? Since we got home, we’ve been a much closer little unit; the girls are getting on better together, and as a family, we’re trying to practice the Danish art of ‘Hygge’ at home – cosying up together for chats and love-ins. It’s what makes all the daily craziness worthwhile after all.
