Fighting over who did– or did not – empty the dishwasher or clean the bathroom – is a pretty common scenario to most married (or cohabiting) couples, would imagine.
In fact, according to many studies, the unequal distribution of housework is one of the absolute most common fights couples have.
But did you know that as well as “just” causing tensions and arguments, one person feeling like they are left with the brunt of the housework can also lead to cheating and affairs?
A major French study found that women are more likely to cheat on men who don’t put in their fair share around the home. According to The Telegraph, “a poll of 10,000 female subscribers to Gleedon — a top site for married and unfaithful people — suggests that the best way to a woman’s heart is by doing the dishes […].”
Out of everyone who responded to the study, a whopping 73 percent of women said that a major factor in their infidelity was because their partner did not help with basic chores such as cleaning the toilet and emptying the dishwasher. The study also found that “86 percent of respondents said they were deeply frustrated by their man’s tendency to avoid housework and 84 percent admitted to it having caused arguments.”
Anyone surprised at these findings?
The things is, though, it looks like most men might be screwed (or, indeed, not screwed) no matter what they do. At least if you believe as a 2014 study in The American Sociological Review which became the backbone of a much shared and debated article in the New York Times titled “Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?”
In short, the study found that instead of chores being more equally divided between the husband and wife leading to more sex, what actually happened was the opposite. What the researchers discovered was that when men did certain kinds of chores around the house, like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming, the couples in the study had sex 1.5 fewer times per month than those with husbands who did what were considered “masculine chores,” like taking out the trash or fixing the car.
Yikes. What does this mean, exactly? That we on some level find men who help out at home less manly than those who leave us with all the work?
And while sex is important in a marriage – and it is, intimacy makes us feel loved and valued and important to the other person – in order to make family life run smoothly, so is housework. It is never-ending and boring and – at times – overwhelming, but it still needs to get done.
And, ultimately, isn’t that what marriage should be, mamas? About hanging in there for the good (sex) and the bad (folding the laundry)? What do YOU think, mamas? Would the not helping out with any housework be a deal-breaker for you? Let us know in the comments or tweet us at @Herfamilydotie
